Spreading Cheer Where You Care
When I was first diagnosed the best things my friends could do for me was 'be there' and 'listen'. "If you want to help a friend diagnosed with cancer, just be there. Sit there. Don't offer platitudes. Just hold your friend's hand and let them talk when they need to," said Kay Wells. When you're scared, it's important to know that someone is there.
WHAT NOT TO SAY:
• "You look great!" - They know they don't look great. Don't lie about it.
• "Don't worry, everything is going to be okay" - They may ask you for that statement in writing.
• "I know what you're going through..." - They can't help but think that you don't know what they're going through unless you too are going through the same thing.
• "I can't imagine what you're going through.." - They know. Don't state the obvious.
WHAT TO SAY:
• "How are you feeling?"
• "Tell me what I can do for you."
• "I don't know what to say or how to say it, but I do want you to know I am here for you."
• "Want me to read to you?"
• "Is your doctor hot?"
WHAT TO BRING:
• Simple things (no spicy foods, strong floral scents or chaotic sounds)
• Soft things (pillows, teddy bears, and lumbar support)
• Things that heat up (heating pads)
• Things that smell good (lavendar stuffed fluffies , and relaxation kits )
• Things to read (Books & Healing Cards)
WHAT NOT TO FORGET:
You are not alone either. While you might not always have the right thing at the exact moment to say, know that you can offer them an introduction to someone who has been there and done that. Sometimes...that's the greatest gift of all.