My father in law has been battling NSCLC for 2-1/2 years. He quit all treatment in May and has been on hospice care since July. He's on oxygen 24/7 and is managing pretty well (up out of bed every day, eating at least one meal a day, takes darvocet for pain) The hospice nurse comes every week. One lung isn't functioning at all any more, and when she listens to him breath with her stythescope, she hears almost nothing in the other lung. His vitals are good. It's all good..except that awful dread of what is around the corner. The phone rings and we are jumping out of our skin, when the caller ID shows my sister in law's phone number (where my father in law now resides), it's more fear. We HATE being so anxious and fearful. After all these months you'd think we'd have a better handle on it, but we don't. My husband and his sister work full time, and I'm a homemaker, so I go over on 'hospice day' and get the lowdown on how he is and report it back to his kids. I took him to chemo for 6 months, and to his scans, and back to chemo for another 5 months before it was decided that it wasn't helping and he ended it. I feel like I did everything I could, and yet, (this isn't logical), but it seems like I've failed him. Do others feel this way???

Speaks volumes right there!!!!! This disease is strange. It affects us in different ways. You never know what it is going to do next!!If you ahve done everything you can do then you ahve to put the test in Gods Hands. Only he knows where we will be tomorrow and no one else knows this!

You should look around in the forum, "The path less travelled". It tells a lot about things with out therapy. How life is. It may give you and dad some comfort, in sharing some of these. My fave poster in that forum was Dean Carl. he started the forum adn has a lot of wisdom and insight to offer the reader of this forrum!

Hugs and Prayers for some inner peace today and tomorrow and always!! remember yesterday, cherish today and Pray for tomorrow!!!

_________________
April/03 My Wife Deborah, age 46, diagnosed adenocarcinoma NSCLC
1/20/2006 Admitted to hospital Respiratory distress
1/23/2006 Ran to the light and is waiting for us to be rejoined in the Kingdom Of Heaven Her journey is Over but mine lingers on for Now!!!
4/23/07 DEb is joined in Peace by her Puppy Dawg Daisy from Cancer
8/30/07 Got new Pup named Mocha!!

"No matter hnow much it hurts, No matter how alone you feel, Your friends will help you get through anything!!"
Scrubs!!!!Yes the comedy show!!!

The Reason I advocate
If you would like to see our family photos Click on this link!
http://deborah-wallin.memory-of.com/

My memory-of Link is good to go now if you want to see it!!

Denise

I am so sorry you had need to find a site such as this but I am very glad you have joined us.

There is no easy way to deal with what you and your family are going through but just from reading your post here it is obvious that your father in law is and has been surrounded by family who love and respect him and his wishes. You can't possibly do more than that, especially now.

The best advice I can offer you now is to make the most of each and every day, leave nothing unsaid and cherish the times you can spend together.

Please keep us posted and let us know how we can help you. The Path Less Travled Forum has some wonderful posts that may be hellpful as well.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Warmly
Christine

Hi Denise
Sorry I do not have any words of wisdom but just wanted to welcome you to this great site. You have done alot for your father in law and by searching and finding this site, you are continuing to do more for him and your family. Take care.

_________________
02/07 spot showed on chest x-ray
04/07 ct scan confirmed spot
07/07 pet scan could not confirm cancerous
09/07 had lobectomy of upper lobe on left lung.tumour was 2.1cm
10/07 lymph node samples were negative. classified as stage 1b.
12/07 Begin 4 rounds of adjuvant chemotherapy. Cisplatin and Vinerolbine on a 21 day cycle.
01/08 First 3 month chest x-ray was all clear.
03/08 After 3 rounds, cisplatin wil be replaced by carbo for the last round. Ringing in the ears is a side effect of cisplatn.
03/08/08 Had treatment yesterday of Carboplatin/Vinerolbine. So far feeling alot better than when I received the Cisplatin. Treatment lasted 2 hours compared to 5 hours for Cisplatin.
04/08 Chest x-ray. All clear.
06/08 chest CT Scan. All clear
09/08 Chest x-ray. All clear
11/08 Chest x-ray. All clear
02/09 Chest and abdomen CT Scan. All clear
04/09 Chest x-ray. All clear
06/09 Chest x-ray and abdominal ultrasound All clear
01/10 Chest x-ray. All clear

Thank you all....I will heed your suggestions....nose around this site a bit more. I was told today by a close friend that my station in life (up til now) has been to fix everything. When things go wrong, I'm the person to come to, and everyone knows it. Now here I am, faced with an 'unfixable' situation. Then she handed me a note card that said 'LET GO, AND LET GOD' ... my new mantra Bless you all

What a good and wise friend you have. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Judy in Key West

_________________
Cytology report on fluid removed from lung after pleural effusion and pneumonia Sep 07 showed adenocarcinoma cells. Dx IIIb NSCLC Oct '07 at MDACC, Orlando. Fol 6 rounds Taxol/Carboplatin/Avastin and 2 Avastin, CT/PET 4/1/08 pleural thickening gone and no active cancer cells. 11/3/08 STILL NEVD. CT/PET/MRI 5/4/09 Cancer back, still in the pleura and chest wall, small amt of fluid, all in left lung.
5/11/09 Start on Alimta every three weeks.
7/13/10 Had Alimta on road in Corning NY.
8/24/09 Scans show some improvement. Continue on Alimta.
9/14/09 Chemo on road in Mt Holly NJ.
10/6/09 Started regular Alimta infusions in Key West.
11/3/09 CT and PET scans showed significant improvement. Some issues already resolved.
2/3/2010 No evidence of residual or recurrent disease. NED! Stay on Alimta.
5/6/10 Am considering myself still NED until/unless proven otherwise in July. Rabid radiologist thinks he sees something suggestive of similar to some abdominal cancer. No light up on the PET. Am hoping for the best. Stay on Alimta and scan in 9 wks instead of 3 mos.
7/8/10 Chest CT unchanged (NED Feb '10). Infiltration in the region of the omentum is probably slightly more prominent than before. Diverticulosis requiring antibiotics.
Jul, Aug, Sep, continued Alimta in Corning NY, Portsmouth OH and Mt Holly NJ.
10/14/10 Chest CT unchanged from Feb '10. Findings likely representing progressive nodular peritonal carcinomatosis in the midabdomen. Treatment changed to Tarceva started in Nov.
12/15/10 Chest CT unchanged. Abdomen changes compatible with peritoneal carcinomatosis again identified with mild progression noted.
3/16/11 CT chest unchanged. CT abdomen progression ascites (fluid). Progression of soft tissues nodularity on the peritoneal surface anteriorly with diffuse omental involvement.
4/13-15/11 Hospitalized at MDA. Removed 4 1/2 litres (8-9 lbs) of fluid from abdomen 4/14. Started on taxotere before release on 4/15.
5/16/11 Hospitalized for fever, neutropenic. Treated with intravenous antibiotic and antiviral. Given blood transfusion. Note that KW Cancer Center did not give me my Neulasta shot after my chemo on May 6. Onc had me cancel my 5/26 chemo until after my scan on Jun 6. Was discharged on oxygen. Test w/Dr Gerth 5/26 indicated I could go off sitting and sleeping O. Will do walking test 6/2.
6/2 Did not get requisite numbers on walking test. Left for Orlando 6/5 still on oxygen.
6/6/11 MRI normal; CT stable. Taxotere and Neulasta at MDA 6/7 and 6/8.
6/13/11 Appointment with Dr Olham in KW. Off oxygen week of 6/16.
8/8/11 CT scan showed stable with perhaps some lessening of fluid. Stay on Taxotere.
10/10/11 CT chest still clear, CT abdominal lining stable. Stay on taxotere.
12/19/11 CT chest clear, CT abdominal lining stable, MRI clear. Stay on taxotere.

From one Denise to another Welcome to the site. I'm sorry you have need to be here. Keep reading and you will find tons of info and support here. My prayers go out to you and your family.

Denise

_________________
[color=green]Tom 77 yrs young, Devoted Wife of 20 yrs Denise age 49 yrs, 6 kids, 5 granddaughters, 2 grandsons [/color]
__________________________________
[color=blue]1/29/08 Diagnosed with Stage IIIA NSCLC Squamous Cell with lymphnode and liver involvement.
1/29/13 - 5 Year survivor!!
1/29/12 -4 years Survivor!!
2/11/08 - 7/16/08 7 rounds of chemo w/ Carbo/Taxol
3/24/08 Restaged at IV.
4/28 CT Scan
5/5 Results day / Great scan w/ overall shrinkage.
5/12 MRI scheduled.
5/20 - Rad consult
5/28 - 7/16 Radiation to chest 35 rounds
8/18 - CT shows the lung tumor is down to 3.7cm x 2.7cm and liver lesion is GONE!! No signs of metastatic disease within the abdomen. No further treatment need at this time. Next scan in 3 months.
12/5 Hospitalized with pneumonia
12/6 CT Scan all clear. Tumor continues to shrink.
12/10 Home on 24/7 Oxygen. SOB continues.
5/18/09 PET SCAN ALL CLEAR!!!
5/2010 NED!!
4/2012 NED!!
10/2012 CT = Mixed bag of nuts
[/color]

[color=purple]Don’t be afraid your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. [/color]

[color=red]READ TOM'S STORY @ [/color]
http://www.lungevity.org/l_community/viewtopic.php?t=37425

Hi Denise. Sure sounds to me like you have done everything you can, and still are, in supporting your father in law. This disease sucks for all involved. I agree with Judy, you got some good advice from your friend. Welcome to this site. I am sure you have found already it can be a great source of knowledge and most of all support. Take care and please keep us posted.

Sandra

_________________
See my survival story at http://lungevity.org/l_community/viewtopic.php?t=39390

43 years old at diagnosis, wife and mother of 2 wonderful children (1 of each, 12 and 13).

March 2007-cough that wouldn't clear, gets progressively worse, can't sleep on left side by July 2007
August 2007-cloudy x-ray
Aug 27-finally a CT scan, and hospitalized, 3 litres of fluid on lung. Fluid drained, hospital stay, bronchs, mediastinoscopy, thorascopy. Had been told cancer earlier, not in fluid though. Tests done to confirm staging. Staging confirmed as Stage III A, later changed to III B.
Oct 4-PET scan for radiation planning.
Oct 17-Nov 28-30 radiation treatments
Oct 17 to Jan 11-4 rounds of chemo, cisplatin and etoposide
Jan 28-Ct scan/chest x-ray
Feb 12-doc said re CT scan "results are excellent, could possibly be a complete positive response!" Don't think it gets much better than that. I won't say NED yet....
Mar 18/08-NED!!!!! based on updated CT scan. Small pleural effusion left,difficult to tell, but rest is NED. And also cleared for START, liposome vaccine clinical trial.
April 3-1st day of vaccine, every week for 8 weeks, less frequently after that
-May 8-PET scan results, bone mets!!! Lungs still clear. Begin radiation/chemo planning. Off of clinical trial after 5 treatments.
-May 27 and 30, 2 radiation treatments, 14 greys total
-June 10-July 21-first 3 alimta infusion, also receiving zometa infusions separately
-CT scan results July 21-lungs still clear, back a mess, referred to a neurosurgeon for possible surgery
-Aug 13-1st gemzar infusion (stopped alimta, was intolerant and gemzar thought to be more effective)
Aug 16-MRI as reported pain in right leg, results were probable nerve damage from spine mets
-Aug20-end of first cycle of gemzar. Treatments stopped as was intolerant, too many side effects.
Sept 25-bone scan ordered by pain doc
Oct 3-started Tarceva, 150 mg
Oct 23 PET scan results-progression in spine and left lung with lymph node involvement-CRAP!!!!!
Nov 5-Tarceva down to 125 mg
Jan 20-failed bone cement procedure, pain worse
Jan 23-admitted to hospital for 10 days: full kidney failure, later discovered infection in chest which was lanced, identified dropped foot, off of Tarceva since Jan 20
Mar 31-1st of 10 radiation treatments to the spine
May 12-started navalbine

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will". -Mahatma Gandhi

"When the going gets tough, the tough get waterproof mascara" (assuming you have eyelashes left after chemo!)