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PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 4:19 pm 
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Location: Castro Valley, California
I can't believe that in 3 weeks I have watched my mom become this sick, frail, suffering woman. She was so strong for so long. I posted a couple of weeks ago (or one week ago?) about her being overmedicated. Well, she was hospitalized for 3 days and then sent home. She started to become clearer, but now we realize it only lasts for a bit, and then the fogginess comes back. She mumbles and doesn't make sense most of the time, but you can tell she knows she's not making sense because she'll keep trying to correct herself.

We learned at the hospital that she was severely constipated. It's no wonder being that she was on pain pills for 2 weeks straight. She has been curled up in a fetal position moaning and talking about the pain. We assumed it was gas. When we went to see the oncologist I finally put her in a wheelchair because she's lost so much muscle she can barely stand up anymore. When he examined her he tapped her body and she said that her hips and lower spine hurt, NOT her stomach. This was new news for my aunt and I because we really thought she just needed to go to the bathroom. He calmly said that this could be atrophy setting in to her muscles from the lack of movement for 3 weeks, OR it could be the cancer that was found on her spine and pelvic bone back in January. He said we needed another PET scan since she hadn't had one in over a year.

But that appointment with him was Monday and it's now Thursday. He had us get her on some anti-seizure medication as well as some strong laxatives. And ordered AIM for her (Advanced Illness Management) -- it's basically a home nursing care service. He also ordered physical therapy to help her regain her strength in her legs. But it's like the laxatives all set in at once and for the past 3 days, her quality of life has become so poor. She can't use the restroom alone, can't dress herself, is constantly needing the restroom so she needs someone there 24/7. I stayed the other night and we were in the restroom ALL night long. Changing her clothes, washing laundry, etc. I finally have disposable undergarments now.

I look at her and I'm petrified and I feel like I'm walking around in someone else's life. She has lost 35 lbs, won't eat, is constantly talking about the pain, talks to her deceased mother....and then every once in a while, she'll make some joke about what we're all going through right now. (She has always had the BEST sense of humor and always been so tough). The other day I was saying to my aunt while we stood in Mom's bedroom, that maybe the home care nursing service could help her with an enema, she opened one eye to look at me and said, "You're going to do WHAT with me?" I kind of giggled and said, "No Mom, not ME, I was talking about the nurse." She said, "GOOD! Because I have to draw the line somewhere!.....Oh this is getting fun.......isn't it?" Then dropped her head back on the pillow. We all started laughing.

When we were in the hospital we had a very handsome male nurse. He was about 6'5", 35 years old, with the body of a model. My 2 aunts, my mom and I were all huddled in her little ER room. He came in and every time he'd talk to us and then leave, we'd all glance at one another, raising eyebrows and giggling. We all agreed he was pretty. =)

So when he said he was going to start an IV, I mentioned that she has a port. He said, "Oh good, that makes things easier for us....So, let me get some things here and when I return I'll access your port."

As he walked out Mom sits up and whispers in a low, sexy voice just for us to hear, "You're going to access my WHAT?" She had the biggest grin on her face. We were all hysterical until he walked back in. Then we all hushed and acted as though nothing had happened.

But those moments are fewer and fewer. The pain has increased and we're so lost with what to do. The pain pills caused the discomfort of constipation, but now she appears to have real pain, she has no control of her body, she can't walk, she won't eat.....and I feel so desperate and so helpless.

My aunt and I managed to get her to her PET scan appointment today but MAN, was that hard. She kept complaining of the upset stomach and kept asking for the restroom. By the time I'd get her in, it was too late. The technician was waiting for us....{{{big long exhale}}}}. I think the most comfortable part for her was when he finally got her up on the bed, wrapped her in blankets, secured the strap around her and told her she could go to sleep for 30 minutes.

Even with her frazzled mind most of the time, I did catch something she mumbled when I was talking with the technician about the procedure and her discomfort level. He was saying we could reschedule because of how upset her stomach was. But I knew her oncologist was waiting on these results to make the next move. So, while we were talking, I heard my mom say under her breath, "...why are we doing this anyways....we already know what they're going to find....." But she was leaning over and no one else heard her but me.

I'm not the same person I was 3 weeks ago. That has all changed. I have sunk into chronic depression and can barely find my way around at this point. I have 2 young daughters, a 21-year step-son and a husband who are all just watching me fall apart. Not to mention my mom's nieces, cousins, sisters and her 96-year-old father. I work and am currently in a teaching credential program. I spend every moment I can up the street with my mom at Grandpa's house. People tell me how sorry they are, how they don't know how I do it all. They say I'm handling this all with so much grace and that I am her rock.

But I always think, do I have a choice? And wouldn't YOU do the same? This IS what we do for those we love. We don't give up, we don't say 'I'm sorry but I can't' -- we do whatever it takes to preserve our mother's or father's or husband's or wife's dignity. We don't flinch or blink an eye. We don't put ourselves first, we sacrifice and sacrifice so that we can eliminate their pain, take away any suffering we can, make them smile when we know they don't want to....and we do everything we can not to fall apart in front of them. We love them with everything we can.

I walk around now with constant flow of tears on my cheeks. It never stops. And I'm an adult education teacher for ESL students. They may not speak English, but they know tears. Tears are universal. They see my pain and even though they can't communicate with me, so often, they come up and just touch my arm or hug me. The other day I was teaching a lesson and smiling while I talked......with tears rolling down my face. I'm raw all the time. I'm just shocked that people walk around this earth in this kind of pain and still survive. I can't believe other people have been through this pain and survived. This pain is unreal.

Whewwww. Thank you for letting me get this out there. This board really is therapy.

_________________
*PROFILE PIC: Mom and I at my cousin's wedding, 2004.
______________________
3/07 59-yr-young Mom developed chronic cough & flu symptoms. SOB. Can't keep meals down. Dx with pneumonia & bronchitis. Antibiotics aren't working.
5/8/07 Mom DEMANDED chest xray. Large white mass on left lung.
5/10/07 Thorecentesis. Pleural effusion.
5/11/07 CT scan. Left lung showed 80% filled.
5/24/07 Bronchoscopy found cancer cells.
6/5/07 PET scan
6/7/07 Dx Adrenocarcinoma, NSCLC Stage IV, nods found in left lobe, pluera, lymph, adrenal glands.
6/14/07 1st carbo/gemzar. A little nausea. Not so bad. =)
6/21/07 Gemzar. No side effects.
6/22 - 6/27 Feeling better, breathing easier.
6/28/07 VERY tired, no energy. Blood counts VERY low. Plat down to 27. WBC low.
7/5/07 All counts WAY UP! Platelets back to 385!!
7/16/07 Fever. Blood work ordered.
7/17/07 MRI, x-ray AND blood work.
7/19/07 Blood transfusion
7/20 Fever 103 / ER Admitted & stayed in hosp. MRI was CLEAR! Potassium, protein very low. Absess found around tumor in left lobe. Hospitalized 11 days!
8/10/07 Changed to new oncologist. Got to know him in the hospital and he's local. We LIKE him A LOT!
8/23 Back on chemo. Carbo/Gemzar.
9/5 Went in for port but all counts too low. Mom feels GREAT! Spunky & normal energy! Dr.s are amazed!
9/10/07 Port implant proceudre
9/15/07 Port seems to have infection. Redness, swelling.
9/27/07 Received chemo through port.
9/28/07 Blood transfusion. Red blood cells too low yesterday.
10/18/07 Lower dose of Gemzar only. Tumor is responding WELL to chemo!
10/19/07 Rcvd. Nuelesta shot for white blood cells.
10/18/07 Completed 6th cycle of chemo.
10/25 Blood work shows very low platelets (again)
10/26 Platlet transfussion & CT scan to reassess. Oncologist calls and says original tumor has shrunk DRASTICALLY. Good news short lived....also found a blood clot in lung.
10/27 ER visit - Starts Coumadin
11/1/07 5 cycles completed of gemzar/carbo. Time to stop chemo.
11/12/07 Pulmonary says Mom is very healthy. Looks great.
2/07 Life has almost returned to normal...latest CT scan shows that cancer is almost undetectable. Breathing is practically normal aside from little wheezing from a cold. Mom is working out, walking & back at the gym. Our trip to Jamaica is coming up in May 08!
May 08 -- Mom, her sister, her niece, myself, my 2 young daughters all go to JAMAICA to visit our family home & cousins. Had the time of our lives! I left the island first & promised her....we're coming back next year!
June 08 -- CT scan shows a little growth in original tumor. (Original tumor was 5cm..reduced to 11mm after chemo....now is at 13mm) Dr. wants to wait until PET scan & then start chemo again in August.
August 08 *Officially in remission. No treatment suggested.
Jan 09 -- CT scan shows spots on spine and pelvic bone.
Jan 22-09 -- Bone scan results discussed with onc. Spots are cancerous cell activity on spine and pelvic bone.
Jan - Apr 09 - 5 cycles of Carbo/Taxol -- Waiting for Blue Cross to approve Avastin.
June 09 Genetech is providing Avastin for FREE. Starts Avastin.
June-July 09 - Headaches. Jolts of pain in head.
7/7 - MRI, shows multiple brain mets
7/15 - meet with radiologist. WBR starts tomorrow. The plan is 22 treatments. Mom starts taking Decadron for fluid retention which might be the cause of headaches.
8/15- finished radiation, no side effects other than burning on scalp.
Sept 09 - Still has strong headaches. Put o Decadron steroid for headaches.
Sept 09 - Another MRI ordered because of headaches. MRI shows shrinking of tumors.
9/30- Finished Decadron. Starts Hydromorphone for pain. Every 4 hours for headaches.
10/8 - Very confused. Has difficulty forming sentences. No short-term memory.
10/10 - 10/12 - Hallucinating, delusional, talking to no one, staring at ceiling. Onc says could be brain swelling, overmedicated or tumor growth. Wants MRI. Pulmonary says this is it, asks if I want her in the hospital or home with hospice. I'm not ready for hospice, either is she. I want test results before we talk about hospice!
Taken to ER. Admitted.
10/13 - CT scan, MRI in hospital. Showing clarity again...No pain pills since 12pm 10/12. No coincidence that she's becoming clear again?
10/15 - Released from hospital. Two dr.'s don't agree on prognosis. I'm going with the oncologist who says, there is concern from MRI results, but that we have not given up. New Primary dr. assigned.
10/20 Mom has not completely recovered. Still shows dementia type symptoms. Very confused. Will drink protein shakes and take meds for us, but can't do anything else on her own.
10/26 Mom is mentally not there anymore. It's as if she has suffered brain damage. We don't know why. Appt with onc. MRI shows tumors are stable and cancer in lung, stomach, bone is mutating again, but not spreading quickly. Wants to start Tarceva, but we have to figure out what's going on with her brain.
10/30 Appt with radiologist AND oncologist together. It could be a chemical imbalance. This is not from radiation, but maybe the combination of everything. Prescribed Provigil to improve brain functioning.
11/1 Mom falls out of bed. No muscle. No physical strength. Atrophy has set in. Mom is on Medicare as of today. No more Blue Cross!! Yeah!
11/2 Starts Provigil.
11/3 Mom falls out of bed again. Ordering hospital bed. Need to find home health care. Needs to get her strength back before we start Tarceva.
11/5 - 11/15 Mom admitted to hospital. Pain, chronic constipation, unable to move. Dr.'s run tests to find reason for neurological problems - decide it's brain tumors that have continued growing.
11/15 Mom comes home with hospice
11/28/09 Mom leaves this world, this human life.... to join her sister, brother and mother.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 5:38 pm 
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Location: California
Hello There, I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been where you are and it sucks! It hurts so much to see someone who has so much life to live in pain. Everything that you are describing is what my mom went through as well. My mom was severely constipated from the meds and was hospitalized for 3 days because of it. My mom wanted to give up. Your mom has more fight in her. God bless her for that.

I am sending you and your mom huge hugs.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 5:58 pm 
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Sweet Tova,

I hear every word you say and understand every one. I am sorry to hear all you are experiencing. I remember thinking the same - do other people feel this pain - hurt somuch - and if so - how do they go on? I don't know the answer. I know I did..............somehow.

I am sorry - no other words can I speak other than those. You are tired of hearing how remarkable you are - what a rock you are. You need to just rest and can't. And I'm sorry again. I will hurt here for you to maybe alleviate that last bit of hurt that makes it just too much to bear. I will carry that for you and hope and pray.

We have to believe there is mercyf or all thos who suffer so.

Kasey

_________________
Kasey ~ 8 year survivor ~ Stage IIIb 'inoperable' (yea, right!) lung cancer
9/20/04 Dx lc
9/24/04 Bronchoscopy
10/08/04 CT guided needle biopsy
10/14/04 Dx Pancoast tumor - NSCLC 111a(?) - inoperable - incurable
11/02/04 2nd opinion - Sloan-Kettering - concurs with local dx and tx
11/03/04-12/02/04 Radiation x22 chemo x5 taxol/carboplatin
11/04 - 3rd opinion - FoxChase -turned away
11/04 FOUND LCSC & HOPE
11/04 4th opinion NIH - surgery possible
1/04/05 Successful surgery - RU lobectomy - all margins, nodes, and path reports are NEGATIVE
2/05 chemo x2 taxol/carboplatin
3/05 Esophagus stretched twice
4/06/05 bloodwork, chest x-ray, CT scan, PET scan, NED
5/05 2 more esophagus stretches
7/13/05 bloodwork, chest x-ray, CT scan, PET scan, brain MRI, NED
10/05/05 bloodwork, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, NED
1/11/06 bloodwork, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, brain MRI, NED
4/05/06 bloodwork, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, NED
6/10/06 emergency appendectomy
7/12/06 bloodwork, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, brain MRI, NED
9/26/06 bloodwork, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, NED
1/10/07 bloodwork, urinalysis, chest x-ray, CT, PET/CT scan, arm CT, brain MRI, NED
7/11/07 bloodwork, urinalysis, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, brain MRI, NED
1/9/08 bloodwork, urinalysis, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, brain MRI, CT w/contrast.....mm 'spot' lower right lobe - watch and wait 3 months
4/8/08 bloodwork, urinalysis, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, NED
10/14/08 bloodwork, urinaysis, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, brain MRI, NED
4/15/09 bloodwork, urinalysis, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, brain MRI, NED
10/13/09 bloodwork, urinalysis, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, brain MRI, CT/contrast, NED
4/13-4/15/10 bloodwork, urinalysis, chest x-ray, PET/CT scan, brain MRI, CT/contrast, PFT, echocardiogram, EKG, stress test, NED
4/11-4/13/2011 bloodwork, urinalysis, chest x-ray, PET scan, CT scan w/contrast, brain MRI, NED
4/16-4/18/2012 bloodwork, urinalysis, chest x-ray, PET scan, CT scan w/contrast, brain MRI, NED


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 Post subject: so sorry
PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 6:36 pm 
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Posts: 2635
Location: Redding California
Oh Hon I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I understand the fear and pain and helpless feeling. So many of us have been where you are now. I wish I could tell you that it will get better but I just can't.

You love for your mom is so strong and you are so much stronger than you think. When you get to where you feel that you are at the end of your rope you just have to reach down into the depths of yourself. You will find more because love has no end and what you do for your mom is born of love.

Take everyone of those precious memories and hold on to them. She may still have a lot of fight left in her and maybe it is not as bad as you both think but if it is you will face it. Just as you have faced so much already. My heart goes out to you. I wish we were a few miles closer and I could give you a real hug but for now this will have to do (((Tova))

Take care of yourself too and keep us informed of what is going on. You will be in my prayers. Lillian


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:21 pm 
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Posts: 4769
Location: Key West, FL
My heart broke reading your post. But I so admired your ability to still hear the humor your mother manages through all the suffering. You are a good daughter. You are an amazing daughter. I wish you nothing but the strength you need to see this through. And I wish your mother peace and hope they find some medical blunder that's been her sudden undoing. It's just too sudden.

Take care of yourself the best you can.

Judy in Key West

_________________
Cytology report on fluid removed from lung after pleural effusion and pneumonia Sep 07 showed adenocarcinoma cells. Dx IIIb NSCLC Oct '07 at MDACC, Orlando. Fol 6 rounds Taxol/Carboplatin/Avastin and 2 Avastin, CT/PET 4/1/08 pleural thickening gone and no active cancer cells. 11/3/08 STILL NEVD. CT/PET/MRI 5/4/09 Cancer back, still in the pleura and chest wall, small amt of fluid, all in left lung.
5/11/09 Start on Alimta every three weeks.
7/13/10 Had Alimta on road in Corning NY.
8/24/09 Scans show some improvement. Continue on Alimta.
9/14/09 Chemo on road in Mt Holly NJ.
10/6/09 Started regular Alimta infusions in Key West.
11/3/09 CT and PET scans showed significant improvement. Some issues already resolved.
2/3/2010 No evidence of residual or recurrent disease. NED! Stay on Alimta.
5/6/10 Am considering myself still NED until/unless proven otherwise in July. Rabid radiologist thinks he sees something suggestive of similar to some abdominal cancer. No light up on the PET. Am hoping for the best. Stay on Alimta and scan in 9 wks instead of 3 mos.
7/8/10 Chest CT unchanged (NED Feb '10). Infiltration in the region of the omentum is probably slightly more prominent than before. Diverticulosis requiring antibiotics.
Jul, Aug, Sep, continued Alimta in Corning NY, Portsmouth OH and Mt Holly NJ.
10/14/10 Chest CT unchanged from Feb '10. Findings likely representing progressive nodular peritonal carcinomatosis in the midabdomen. Treatment changed to Tarceva started in Nov.
12/15/10 Chest CT unchanged. Abdomen changes compatible with peritoneal carcinomatosis again identified with mild progression noted.
3/16/11 CT chest unchanged. CT abdomen progression ascites (fluid). Progression of soft tissues nodularity on the peritoneal surface anteriorly with diffuse omental involvement.
4/13-15/11 Hospitalized at MDA. Removed 4 1/2 litres (8-9 lbs) of fluid from abdomen 4/14. Started on taxotere before release on 4/15.
5/16/11 Hospitalized for fever, neutropenic. Treated with intravenous antibiotic and antiviral. Given blood transfusion. Note that KW Cancer Center did not give me my Neulasta shot after my chemo on May 6. Onc had me cancel my 5/26 chemo until after my scan on Jun 6. Was discharged on oxygen. Test w/Dr Gerth 5/26 indicated I could go off sitting and sleeping O. Will do walking test 6/2.
6/2 Did not get requisite numbers on walking test. Left for Orlando 6/5 still on oxygen.
6/6/11 MRI normal; CT stable. Taxotere and Neulasta at MDA 6/7 and 6/8.
6/13/11 Appointment with Dr Olham in KW. Off oxygen week of 6/16.
8/8/11 CT scan showed stable with perhaps some lessening of fluid. Stay on Taxotere.
10/10/11 CT chest still clear, CT abdominal lining stable. Stay on taxotere.
12/19/11 CT chest clear, CT abdominal lining stable, MRI clear. Stay on taxotere.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 8:28 pm 
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Tova, what a remarkable post. After I read it and all the responses, I went back and read it a second time — very slowly. It's no wonder you love your mom. I think you'd love her even if she WEREN'T your mom. I think anyone would. Ditto in particular to Judy's thoughts.

Ned

_________________
Ned is just my nickname, though it would be nice to merge it with the other meaning eventually...

Aloha means "Hello, goodbye, love, compassion, welcome, good wishes." It means belonging to others with a common humanity. It's defined better as a feeling in the heart than by words.

Dx NSCLC adenocarcinoma IIIb Sep 2006, now stage IV. Taxol+Carboplatin+Avastin 4 mo., Avastin 8 mo., Tarceva 16 mo., Alimta 12 mo. (sometimes combined with Cisplatin or Carboplatin), Navelbine since Feb 2010, 10 sessions of WBR in March 2011. See My Cancer Journey: viewtopic.php?p=351369#p351369 — UPDATED 03/05/2011.

Above left: Our golden retriever Rosie, who joined the family on 3/5/08 at the playful age of 2.

Below: Hannah, our golden companion 1994-2007.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 8:47 pm 
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Location: Greensboro North Carolina
Jsut want to let YA know Your family is in my thoughts and Prayers!!!

_________________
April/03 My Wife Deborah, age 46, diagnosed adenocarcinoma NSCLC
1/20/2006 Admitted to hospital Respiratory distress
1/23/2006 Ran to the light and is waiting for us to be rejoined in the Kingdom Of Heaven Her journey is Over but mine lingers on for Now!!!
4/23/07 DEb is joined in Peace by her Puppy Dawg Daisy from Cancer
8/30/07 Got new Pup named Mocha!!

"No matter hnow much it hurts, No matter how alone you feel, Your friends will help you get through anything!!"
Scrubs!!!!Yes the comedy show!!!

The Reason I advocate
If you would like to see our family photos Click on this link!
http://deborah-wallin.memory-of.com/

My memory-of Link is good to go now if you want to see it!!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:25 am 
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I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I took care of my Mom too, she didn't have cancer though. It one of the hardest things in the world. One thing I did want to mentioin was medication for you. There is nothing wrong with you taking a anti depressant or an anti anxiety right now to get you through this. Prayers are on the way.

Dana

_________________
Mar. '08-Routine xray found Spot tip of upper left lung.
Dr orders CAT. growth confirmed.
Sent to Pulmonolgist who orders PET.
Pet results-my spot lights up like a Christmas tree.
Can't reach spot for biopsy referred to surgeon.
Surgical Biopsy scheduled for Apr. 28th '08
Apr. '08-Surgeon found SCLC, removed upper left lobe and surronding lymph nodes.
Everything biopsied no other cancer found, declaired NED by surgeon on Apr.28th '08
ONC wants me to start adjuvant therapy.
June '08-MRI brain scan and CAT NED
Chemo cisplatin/vp16 3 days every 3 weeks 4 sessions ended Aug. '08
Partial hearing loss due to Cisplatin
Sept. '08 1st CAT after treatment NED
Dec. '08-2nd CAT after treatment NED
Apr. '09-MRI (brain) and CAT NED
Aug. '09-CAT NED
Dec. '09-CAT and MRI NED
Apr. '10-CAT and MRI NED
Oct. '10-CAT and MRI NED
Jan. '11-XRay NED
Oct. '11-CAT NED


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:37 am 
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I'm so sorry things have progressed like this...My heart is breaking for you. I feel every word and I remember what we went thru like it was yesterday in just reading your words...NO ONE should have to go thru this. I wish I could take away the pain and uncertainty of right now...

You're right, you're not the same..and you won't be the same tomorrow or next week or next year. This disease and all it does to us robs us of so much...

Quote:
But I always think, do I have a choice? And wouldn't YOU do the same? This IS what we do for those we love. We don't give up, we don't say 'I'm sorry but I can't' -- we do whatever it takes to preserve our mother's or father's or husband's or wife's dignity. We don't flinch or blink an eye. We don't put ourselves first, we sacrifice and sacrifice so that we can eliminate their pain, take away any suffering we can, make them smile when we know they don't want to....and we do everything we can not to fall apart in front of them. We love them with everything we can.


This is what i thought too but after my experience and years of facilitating support groups- I know this isn't the case. There are families and relatives that don't do this...

It takes someone very special to do all that you're doing...don't take that away from yourself. No everyone would do this...you DO have a choice and still you are sacrificing, unflinching, unwavering- and doing all that you do out of love. Your mom knows this- and she must be so thankful and proud to have a daughter like you. Be gentle on yourself.
Take it a moment at a time to get thru... We continue to be here for you.

_________________
- Katie Brown, Co-Founder and Director of LCSC-

15 yr cancer survivor.

"Any of us who have experienced the cancer journey- and survived it-
have an obligation to make the path clearer and aid those that come after us."
- Lance Armstrong


In memory of Jessee Dewey, SCLC
December 29, 1938 - September 6, 2003
Lisa Dewey- Jan. 22, 2007

my parents are together in heaven
ImageImage

facebook www.facebook.com/lungevity


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:19 am 
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Dear (((((Tova))))),

I echo the sentiments in responses so far - and know that I can not say any better what has already been said.

Though I have not had your experiences, I fear that one day I may .... I read your entries and I learn from you. May you be comforted to know what a role model you are and may the prayers and warm hugs coming your way, lessen your pain to some degree.

Blessings,
Kimbelry

_________________
My wonderful mother, 71 at diagnosis ...
6/2/09 - went to GP for shoulder pain - xrays taken, show 'shadow' in lung area
6/8 CT scan
6/12 - GP reports that 'shadow' likely to be cancer ... need more tests referred to pulminologist and oncologist.
6/14 - Appt with Pulminologist - orders PET and biopsy. I take charge and reschedule onc appt until those tests are done (what would onc tell us w/o test results)
6/18 PET, 6/19 Biopsy (CT guided needle)
6/24 - onc appt. confirming stage 3B NSCLC - tumor (4x7cm) contained to right lobe w/lymph nodes affected
6/25 - 2nd onc. appt. for 2nd opinion and verification. this doc orders MRI of brain and CT of abdomen (earlier CT showed hydronephrosis in right kidney). blood work done
6/29 - MRI and CT -- blood work showed creatinine was normal
6/30 - meet rad onc - explanation of treatment
7/2 - meet with original onc. no mets to brain, ref to urologist to check kidney. he recommneds carbo/taxol regimen and radiation
7/7 - urologist reports kidney functioning normally, no treatment recommended for kidney- move forward w/ cancer treatment
7/8 - meeting with other onc - she recommends cisplatin/topo (more aggressive) -- we decide to go that route
7/20 - 9/2: 33 rad treatmetns (or 66 gray, i think) and 2 cycles of cisplatin/topo. side effects: fatigue, hair loss, low red and white cell counts, fatigue, lump in throat, some taste issues and (did i mention) fatigue.
9/4: 2 units of blood transfused
9/8: red and white counts back to normal. Mom reports "firing on 7 of 8 cylinders"
9/21: CT Scan
9/24-29: wonderful and much needed beach time with family (best medicine so far!!!)
9/29: CT results: tumor shrank to 2x2cm and is now "quiet and contained". Tx break for 3 months.
12/31: CT scan showed add'l shrinkage - down to 1.9 x 1.1 - praise the Lord!!!
3/19/2010: CT scan ...results showed no areas of concern. Stability. God is good!!!
4/1/2010: Mom begins complaining of abdomen sensation "like sunburn and clothing brushing against it hurts".
4/9: visit to GP - who wrongly diagnoses as ringworm
4/15: visit to neurologist, MRI of abdomen and spine shows 2 areas of concern on 8th and 11th vertebrae.
4/20: nerve induction test shows neuropathy. Onc maintains that cancer unlikely due to clear scan just a month earlier.
5/2010-6/2011: nerve issues subsided. areas of 'concern' turn out to be nothing. good CT scan in May and November, 2010.
5/2011: CT scan shows something in adrenal gland area; PET scan reveals likely active cancer
6/2011: Onc referrs for biopsy (6/6). If cancer confirmed, radiation to follow ...


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:59 am 
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(((((Tova))))) Your post brought back so many memories for me. I resonate with so much of what you said. I'm praying for you. I'm praying for your Mama. I'm so sorry you are both going through this.

_________________
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well... No matter what."
--Julian of Norwich/Madeleine L'Engle


My Mom, Carol, was diagnosed with Stage IV NSCLC with several mets to the bones in November of 2004, when she was 57. Treatment included radiation to relieve the bone pain, Zometa to strengthen her bones, Cisplatin/Gemzar as a first line treatment, and Alimta as a second line treatment. Mom was referred to hospice while waiting for a Perifosine trial to begin, and she died July 19, 2005. Not a day goes by that I don't long for my mama.
]

www.digtoesin.wordpress.com
www.newwaylc.blogspot.com


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:46 pm 
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Location: Auburn, Alabama
((((Tova))))

I don't know what to say other than I can see where you get your strength and your humor. Your mom sounds like one special lady--the best way to tell is by her very special daughter.

At this point, all you can do is all you can do. Keep coming here to vent when you need to. We'll be here for you.

In the meantime your mom and you will remain in my prayers.

Susan

_________________
76 year-old mom diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer January 5, 2007.

15 radiation treatments to the spine and four rounds of chemo, Jan-May, 2007.

Stable disease May, 2007-May, 2008.

Bone scan May, 2008 shows new mets in the spine, pelvis and ribs.

July, 2008--finished radiation and has a Quadramet treatment.

October, 2008--Scans show mild progression. Began chemo (carbo/taxol/avistin). Will have four rounds of threatment (every 21 days) and scan in January.

01/05/2009--TWO YEAR SURVIVOR!

4/2009--STABLE! No treatment. Next scan in July

7/2009--Scan shows pleural effusion. Fluid drained and malignant. Cancer has spread to other lung and a 13 mm lesion is seen on the liver. Mom to begin Alimta on 8/3

11/2009--Alimta was hard on mom and scans showed progression.

12/2009--began Tarceva, noticed almost immediate improvement.

2/25/2010--Celebrated Mom's 80th birthday!

5/15/2010--Mom watched her oldest granddaughter graduate from college and then paritied well into the night! She's still feeling great.

6/15/2010--Mom watched her youngest granddaughter graduate from high school. Still feeling great!

8/2010-10/2010--Mom begins feeling tired and stays in bed more and more. Scans reveal that the cancer is moving rapidly throughout her body.

10/13/2010--Mom wins her battle once and for all, and passes to a place where the cancer can no longer touch her.

For a more detailed timeline see:

http://www.lungevity.org/l_community/viewtopic.php?p=360385#360385


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