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Pickles Group is a nonprofit organization that provides free peer-to-peer support and resources to kids and teens impacted by a parent or guardian’s cancer. Chief Clinical Officer Kelsey Mora is a dual-certified child life specialist and licensed therapist who develops educational materials for both caregivers and clinicians and designs the social-emotional curriculum for the youth programming that is facilitated by trained volunteers.
Through Pickles Group’s programming and How to Talk to Kids About Cancer webinars, Kelsey offers age-appropriate, honest guidance on how to talk with children and teens about a parent’s cancer diagnosis. The organization’s approach emphasizes sharing information, expectations, and feelings with kids. All of their program offerings are centered around honest and age-appropriate information, coping skills, and peer connection.
At this year’s LUNGevity HOPE Summit, caregivers shared heartfelt questions about how to navigate lung cancer with their children. Here are some of the questions—along with supportive responses from Kelsey Mora, on behalf of Pickles Group.
Q: How do you make [kids] aware [of your lung cancer] so that you can really enjoy the time together without scaring them?
Children are often more scared by what they don’t understand. They’re observant and curious, and they tend to pick up on changes or stress in the environment. It’s helpful to start by opening up communication using a simple, age-appropriate explanation. You might say:
“There’s a problem with my cells. It’s called cancer, and it’s located in my lungs. I take medicine to try to get rid of the cancer cells or keep them small.”
It’s a common worry that if you bring up cancer, it will dominate all your conversations. But in reality, children are reassured when they know they’ll be kept informed and can ask questions when needed. The rest of life can still feel “normal” to them in between those moments. And you can build on the conversation and discussion as you need to or they want to.
Q: My daughter is 5. I currently have minimal appointments and take a TKI daily. Is it important to have a conversation now, or should I wait until she starts asking questions?
It’s understandable to want to delay difficult conversations when life feels stable. However, kids often notice small shifts—even if it’s just a new bottle of medicine or a moment of fatigue. If it hasn’t been discussed, they might hesitate to ask about what they observe.
By introducing the topic in a non-threatening, honest way, you give your child permission to be curious. That early dialogue lays the foundation for future updates and makes any necessary conversations down the road feel less overwhelming.
Rather than saying everything at once, you can build on a baseline explanation over time. For example:
“Remember how I take medicine every day to help my body stay healthy from the cancer cells? Well, there has been a change …”
This creates a sense of continuity instead of starting from scratch when things shift.
Q: How do you manage friends and family [being] around and how they interact with your children? [Should you] prep them if your children ask questions?
Yes, and it’s not easy. Getting everyone on the same page is a challenge, but it’s also critical. Kids should receive information from their most trusted adults—that’s you—not overhear it from others.
Proactively preparing other caregivers or family members with the language you’re using and the boundaries you’ve set can help ensure consistency. You don’t have to do it all alone—Pickles Group offers resources that can support your extended network:
- Free Family Cancer Support Kit
- Age-appropriate videos on our YouTube Channel
- Webinars for adults supporting children through cancer
These tools can help reinforce the message you want to share with your kids.
Q: What do you do about a teenager who is in denial and refuses to discuss anything cancer-related? They don’t want to talk about their feelings.
Teenagers want to feel seen, heard, and respected—even when they’re avoiding hard conversations. The key is to build trust by being consistent and reliable, while letting them set the pace. You might say:
“I get it. You don’t want to talk about this cancer or feeling stuff. I won’t make you. And I want you to know that I’m here when you’re ready.”
Focus on connection—doing things they enjoy, simply spending time together, and listening without an agenda. Keep providing necessary updates without pushing, and always honor their readiness.
Also, remember they don’t have to go through it alone. Pickles Group’s National Virtual Connect Over Cancer Program offers peer support for youth in 1st–12th grade, including a dedicated group for teens who want to connect in ways that feel safe and comfortable.
To learn more or access free support resources, visit www.picklesgroup.org.